I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed;

When You're First-generation Money, You Want To Say, "i Got A Mercedes And A Rolls And A Lamborghini. Take A Look." When You're Second-generation Money, You're Very Quiet Behind Your Country Club Doors. I Think That's Why People Are Much More Aware. It's The First-generation Wives That Have The Huge Rings And The Second-generation Says, "everyone Be Quiet As We Get On Our Yacht Or Our Private Plane."

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.

I Told My Mother-in-law That My House Was Her House, And She Said, 'get The Hell Off My Property.'

Never Floss With A Stranger.

My Grandson Is Mad At Me. He's Mad At Me Because I Squandered His College Fund On Spanx. It's A Lot, But There's A Lot Going On Here.