I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist.

I'm A Realist All The Way. I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist. But I've Lived Too Much Of A Charmed Life So Far To Ever Be A Pessimist.

I Try To Retire Jokes As Soon As I Can Once I Put Them On An Album. But I Can't Think Of Anything I Just Stopped Doing For No Reason.

I'm Fascinated By Offensive Subject Matter. Always Have Been. It Is Very Natural To Me, As Any Teach I've Ever Had Growing Up Could Attest.

I Think A Theater Show Is A Pure Version Of Me Doing My Material. The Theater Crowd Is A Bit More Polite, There Really Aren't Hecklers, And There Are A Lot Of People There To See Me, And They're Excited About The Jokes And Hanging Out With Me For A Show.

I’m Not A Religious Person; I Would Call Myself An Atheist. I Don’t Have A Good Story Behind It, I’m Just Reasonable.