I'm Very Bad At Having Heroes. I

I Have A Fear Of Poverty In Old Age. I Have This Vision Of Myself Living In A Skip And Eating Cat Food. It's Because I'm Freelance, And I've Never Had A Proper Job. I Don't Have A Pension, And My Savings Are Dwindling. I Always Thought Someone Would Just Come Along And Look After Me.

I Know The New Comedy God Is Surrealism, But It Doesn't Touch My Heart.

I Was Trained As An Actress. But I Wasn't A Very Convincing Actress, So I Started Doing Punk Poetry And Then Fell Into Doing Stand-up.

I Can't Watch Other People Doing Comedy. As Soon As Somebody Starts Being Funny I Have To Turn Off Because It Upsets Me. I Get Comedy Indigestion. I Just Hate Anybody Else Being Funny. That's My Job.

I Still Can't Set Up The Ironing-board. A Complete Luddite.