I Need To Be On Drugs To

There's Nothing That Reflects Me. I'm Unreflectable!

Hear The Birds? Sometimes I Like To Pretend That I'm Deaf And I Try To Imagine What It's Like Not To Be Able To Hear Them. It's Not That Bad.

Most People Are Completely Unaware Of Their Breath. They Violate Your Space, They Have No Idea That They Have Halitosis.

Being Larry David On Curb Your Enthusiasm Was The Best Thing To Happen To Larry David In Life.

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.