There's Nothing That Reflects Me. I'm Unreflectable!

If I Tried To Flirt With A Woman And She Didn't Know Who I Was, She Would Run Away.

Give A Guy A Girlfriend And A Great Job, He Doesn’t Need Therapy.

My Life Has Changed. I'm Not Walking Around Any More Wishing I Wasn't Me, Which Was The Case At One Time.

Until I Started Doing Standup, There Were Some Very Bleak Days.

You Have To Discover When You're Inadequate To Be Funny And You Don't Know You're Inadequate When You're A Kid.