I Once Wore A Peekaboo Blouse. People

... If They [your Children] Write Their Names In The Dust On The Furniture, Don't Let Them Put The Year.

A Passport Picture Is A Photo Of A Man That He Can Laugh At Without Realizing That It Looks Exactly The Way His Friends See Him.

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

I'm The Woman Who Used To Think That Middle-age Spread Was A Cocktail Dip.

Would You Believe That I Once Entered A Beauty Contest? I Must Have Been Out Of My Mind. I Not Only Came In Last, I Got 361 Get-well Cards.