I Quit Drinking, And I Figure If

The Regular Guy Still Relates To Him And Howard Is A $500 Million Guy Now Who Dates A Model And Drives About In A Limo All Day. But Howard Still Knows How To Make A Plumber Laugh And Those Guys Still Have Him On In The Morning, Because He Is A Real Talent.

I Like Gambling On Stuff That You Don't Know Anything About. That's When It's Exciting.

I Wish I Was This Dark Genius Artist - Like Richard Pryor Or Something.

You Know How Screwed Up Censorship Is, Two Girls Just Agreed To Make Out Naked In Front Of Their Fathers, And We Went Wait, Don't Curse.

Historically, A Successful Life In Comedy Is A Dream That's As Equally Pondered And Unpursued As Being An Astronaut.