I Wish I Was This Dark Genius

It Is Funny Because The Guy Who Is My Boss Now, Howard Stern, Has A Similarity There. He Got Big Being A Regular Guy. He Wasn't The Greatest Looking Guy In The World

Have You Ever Googled Yourself? I Did, Most Depressing Thing Ever. People Have Websites Hoping I Die At 38.

Historically, A Successful Life In Comedy Is A Dream That's As Equally Pondered And Unpursued As Being An Astronaut.

And Now It Looks Like I'm Probably Going To Shoot A Movie That I Wrote. I Got The Money To Do It, And I Would Star And All, Because Of Being On Howard.

I Was Always A Thin Kid; I Was An Athlete.