I Read One Chapter Of A Book

Mitt Romney Will Travel To London Where He Will Attend The Olympics Opening Ceremony. Of Course It's Going Ot Be Weird When They're Announcing All The Countries, And He's Like 'got A Bank Account There, Got One There, Two Bank Accounts There.'

A New Study Found That Women Gain More Weight After Marriage, But Men Gain More Weight After A Divorce. Yeah, The Divorce Usually Takes Place After Men Point Out That Women Gained More Weight After Marriage.

In Celebration Of Mother's Day Yesterday, President Obama Called Three Moms Who Had Written Him Letters. Then Kids Who Made Their Mom A Macaroni Necklace Said, 'thanks, Obama.'

The White House Announced That President Obama Will Attend A Summit In Kenya This July. When Asked If He's Ever Been To Kenya, Obama Said, 'of Course. I Was Born - No, Bored - Over There. There's Nothing To Do In Kenya.'

If People Want To See You, They'll Find You. If They Don't See You On Tv, They'll Find You On The Internet.