I Ruined My Hands In The Ring.

I Have The Perfect Simplified Tax Form For Government. Why Don't They Just Print Our Money With A Return Address On It?

And On Nearby Islands, The Japanese Army Was Eating Raw Fish. We Felt Sorry For Them. We Didn't Know That In America After The War, You Wouldn't Be Able To Get Into A Sushi Joint Without A Reservation. And We Thought They Lost.

Congress May Be Going Home For The Holidays Soon. How Can You Beat A Christmas Gift Like That?

President Eisenhower Has Given Up Golf For Painting. It Takes Fewer Strokes.

The Good News Is That Jesus Is Coming Back. The Bad News Is That He's Really Pissed Off.