I Saw A Young Boy Eating An

When You're On A Movie Set And You Are Hopefully Making A Comedy, Everyone's Stifling Their Laughter. You're Looking At The Crew Guys, Hoping Someone Is Making That Face Like, And Not Like, This Is Not Working Out, Man.

You Know You're Lazy When You Run Out Of Toilet Paper And Use The Cardboard Roll To Wipe With.

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

I Think Beating Someone To Death With A Ukulele Would Just Sound Funny.

I Do Think I Am Funny, Or I Wouldn't Be Where I Am Today. I Do Think There Is Always Room For Improvement And Learning.