I Started A Big Part Of My

It's So Much Easier To Be Cynical.

I'm A Kid From Minnesota. I Like Seeing Movie Stars! So I'm There At The Ivy, I've Got My Shrimp, Eddie Murphy Comes In With His Gang. I Said To The Waiter, As Any Good Midwestern Boy Would, "hey, Put Eddie's Check On My American Express Card, But Don't Tell Him That I Did It 'til I'm Gone." Next Day I Got A Call From Manager Who Said, "eddie's Doing A Movie, He Was Very Impressed That You Bought Him Lunch." So Remember: Sometimes Buying People Lunch Can Really Work Out Well For You.

It Might Be One Thing To Think About Putting On A Dress, But When You're Actually Putting On A Dress, It's A Weird Thing, Because You're Going, "huh. I'm Putting On A Dress. Do I Leave My Underwear On? Do I Get Some Other Underwear? Is There Something Special I Should Wear?" All That Dumb Stuff. I'd Never Had Any Interest In Putting On My Mom's Clothes, Except To Think, "well, They Are Nice Clothes..."

I'm Still Working! I Think Of All The Other Comics That Didn't Get The Light Shined On Them, Just Because It's Just How Fame Works, And It's Unfortunate. But There Are So Many Great Comics Out There Who Are Still Working, And I Still See Them.

My Mom Was A Garage Sale Person, Save Money. Come On In To The Garage Sale, You Might Find A Shirt. She'd Get In That Garage Sale And Point Stuff Out To You. There's A Good Fork For A Nickel. Yeah, That's Beautiful. It's A Little High. If It Were Three Cents I'd Snap It Up.