I Think Michael Moore Is A Hero.

The Closest I Ever Came To Death Was Masturbating With A 104-degree Temperature.

Trying On Pants Is One Of The Most Humiliating Things A Man Can Suffer That Doesn't Involve A Woman.

There Are Times When I'm Driving Home After A Day's Shooting, Thinking To Myself, That Scene Would've Been So Much Better If I Had Written It Out.

I Guess I Still Feel That I'm A Comedian; If I Had To Pick One Thing That I Feel Like I Could Do, It Would Be That. That Doesn't Mean That I Like It, But I Feel That's What I Am.

I Still Think Of That Guy I Was Without A Wife Or Kids, And I Still Want To Entertain That Guy. The Lonely Guy, The Frustrated Guy, The Guy With No Money - This Is The Guy Who Needs To Laugh.