I Took The Wife's Family Out For

Slumps Don't Bother Me.

I Discovered The Wife's Got Asthma. Thank God - I Thought She Was Hissing At Me.

My Mother-in-law Has So Many Wrinkles, When She Smiles She Looks Like A Venetian Blind.

I'm Often Accused Of Saying Some Pretty Rotten Things About My Mother-in-law. But Quite Honestly, She's Only Got One Major Fault - It's Called Breathing.

A Square Egg In A Dish Of Lentils Won't Make A Marrow Bend With The Wind, Nor Will It Make Rhubarb Grow Up The Milkmaid's Leg.