Slumps Don't Bother Me.

I Used To Sell Furniture For A Living. The Trouble Was, It Was My Own.

The Wife's Mother Said, ‘when You're Dead, I'll Dance In Your Grave.’ I Said: ‘good, I'm Being Buried At Sea’.

Funny Thing How You First Meet The Woman That You Marry. I First Met The Wife In A Tunnel Of Love. She Was Digging It.

I Took The Wife's Family Out For Tea Biscuits. They Weren't Too Happy About Having To Give Blood Though.

I'm Often Accused Of Saying Some Pretty Rotten Things About My Mother-in-law. But Quite Honestly, She's Only Got One Major Fault - It's Called Breathing.