I Type A 101 Words A Minute.

I Would Imagine That If You Could Understand Morse Code, A Tap Dancer Would Drive You Crazy.

Xm Radio Doesn't Have Commercials, So After About Thirty Minutes Of Listening To It, I'm Like, "what Should I Buy?"

I Think Pickles Are Cucumbers That Sold Out.

The Commercial For Diet Dr. Pepper Says It Tastes Just Like Regular Dr. Pepper. Well, Then They Screwed Up!

I Like To Hold The Microphone Cord Like This, I Pinch It Together, Then I Let It Go, Then You Hear A Whole Bunch Of Jokes At Once.