I've Always Boxed, I Always Taught Boxing.

[giving Welfare To Poor People] Is The Equivalent Of The Government Sending [fat People] A Jumbo Bag Of Bugles In The Mail Twice A Month.

I'm Not Comically Oriented. I Get Angry And I Start Complaining And Then People Start Laughing. I Don't Even Want Them To Laugh Half The Time.

I Like My Parents But They Are Just Not Good Parents. They Are Nice Enough People. I'm Not Interested In Hurting Their Feelings.

I'm Harmless. I Don't Have Any Ill Will Or Ill Thought Towards Anybody. When People Know You're That Way, You Can Say Stuff That The Creepy Guy At Your Office Could Never Get Away With.

When You're Picking A Basketball Team, You'll Take The Brother Over The Guy With The Yarmulke. Why? Because You're Playing The Odds.