I've Always Tried To Maintain That I

The Hardest Part About Rollerblading Is Telling Your Parents You're Gay.

You Should Really Treat Stand-up Like You Would A Play. It's A One-man Play.

I Prefer Being Totally Sober Myself.

I Have An Amazing Metabolism. I'm Sure That'll Be Gone One Day. But I Like To Exercise, Too, So I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Really Fat.

Yeah, I've Been A Little Down. Totally Natural. I'm Getting A Divorce, But Now I'm Ready To Pull Myself Up By Some G-strings.