I've Arranged With My Executor To Be

Television Is Never More False Than When It's Openly Sincere.

Bush Is The Face On The Can. But Who Canned That Soup?

A Yuppie Is Someone Who Believes It's Courageous To Eat In A Restaurant That Hasn't Been Reviewed Yet.

If Anybody Comes Up To You And Says, My Kid Is A Conservative - Why Is That? You Say, Remember In The 60′s When We Told You If You Kept Using Drugs Your Kids Would Be Mutants?

I Watched Ken Burns' Civil War Series On Pbs. My Favorite Segment Is When Bob Hope Entertains The Troops At Gettysburg.