I've Never Been Able To Write For

I've Never Been Married, But I Tell People I'm Divorced So They Won't Think Something Is Wrong With Me.

We Have Women In The Military, But They Don't Put Us In The Front Lines. They Don't Know If We Can Fight, If We Can Kill. I Think We Can. All The General Has To Do Is Walk Over To The Women And Say, 'you See The Enemy Over There? They Say You Look Fat In Those Uniforms.'

I Am Thankful The Most Important Key In History Was Invented. It's Not The Key To Your House, Your Car, Your Boat, Your Safety Deposit Box, Your Bike Lock Or Your Private Community. It's The Key To Order, Sanity, And Peace Of Mind. The Key Is 'delete.'

You Never See A Man Walking Down The Street With A Woman Who Has A Little Potbelly And A Bald Spot.

Now That The Court Has Declared Money To Be Speech, I Say We Replace The Current Court With Some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, A Couple Of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, A Sacajawea Or Two, And An Abe Lincoln To Cover Scalia In Full.