I've Never Gambled A Dime. Never, In

I've Never Walked Off Stage And Said, I Shouldn't Have Done That. Because When You Do What I Do, You're Like A Fighter. You Throw The Right Hand And Say, That's What Got Me To This Dance. You Can't Have Doubt. If You Have Doubt, There's No Show.

What I Do Is, I Make Fun Of People And I Make Fun Of Myself And Things Around Us And Exaggerate Things. And I'm Never Mean-spirited. See, The Word Insult Means Some Guy Who's A Real Unkind Human Being. But I Don't Do That, Because Otherwise I Wouldn't Be Headlining All These Years, Thank God, And All These People Showing Up To See Me.

Room Service Is Great If You Want To Pay $500 For A Club Sandwich.

Every Night When I Go Out On Stage, There's Always One Nagging Fear In The Back Of My Mind. I'm Always Afraid That Somewhere Out There, There Is One Person In The Audience That I'm Not Going To Offend!

Half The Battle Is That People Have To Like You Before You Say One Joke, One Bit Of Humor.