I Want To Live Fast And Die

First Off, I Am 35 Years Old, I Am Divorced, And I Live In A Van Down By The River.

I Used To Think That You Could Get To A Level Of Success Where The Laws Of The Universe Didn't Apply. But They Do. It's Still Life On Life's Terms, Not On Movie-star Terms. I Still Have To Work At Relationships. I Still Have To Work On My Weight And Some Of My Other Demons.

I Was In The Pritikin Center In Santa Monica Once, Trying To Lose 30 Or 40 Pounds In A Month. I'd Work... On A Treadmill And With The Weights, But It Was Driving Me Nuts. So I Escaped. Tom Arnold Picked Me Up And We Went To Le Dome And Had Tons Of Desserts.

I Have What Doctors Call A Little Bit Of A Weight Problem.

People Need A Time To Laugh. It's Up To Us To Bonk Ourselves On The Head And Slip On A Banana Peel So The Average Guy Can Say, 'i May Be Bad, Honey, But I'm Not As Much Of An Idiot As That Guy On The Screen.'