I Want To Make A Vending Machine

I Put Fruit On Top Of My Waffles, Because I Want Something To Brush Off.

I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home, But Really It's More Like A 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

I Bought Myself A Parrot, But It Did Not Say "i'm Hungry", And So It Died.

If You Have To Release Bad News To The Public, It Would Help If You Are Not Ugly.

I Like It When You Buy Something And Pay With A Credit Card, They Put Your Credit Card On The Receipt, But Only The Last Four Numbers. Aha! I'm Really Good At Guessing Twelve Numbers. I Can't Guess 16 Numbers, So Thanks For The Assistance!