I Was Almost Put Out Of Business

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull.

Horse Sense Is The Thing A Horse Has Which Keeps It From Betting On People.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

Christmas At My House Is Always At Least Six Or Seven Times More Pleasant Than Anywhere Else. We Start Drinking Early. And While Everyone Else Is Seeing Only One Santa Claus, We'll Be Seeing Six Or Seven.

I'd Take A Bromo, But I Can't Stand The Noise.