I'd Take A Bromo, But I Can't

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

I Don't Object To Nine Aces In One Deck. But When A Man Lays Down Five Aces In One Hand... And Besides, I Know What I Dealt Him!

I'm Looking For Loopholes.

It's What You Do That Counts And Not What You Say; Therefore I Fired My Press Agent.

Thou Shalt Not Kill Anything Less Than A Fifth.