I Was Always The Last Woman On

I Have Noticed That In Plays Where The Characters On Stage Laugh A Great Deal, The People Out Front Laugh Very Little.

I'm Not So Sure It's So Civilized To Be Civilized All The Time.

A Lawyer Is Never Entirely Comfortable With A Friendly Divorce, Anymore Than A Good Mortician Wants To Finish His Job And Then Have The Patient Sit Up On The Table.

Confronted By An Absolutely Infuriating Review, It Is Sometimes Helpful For The Victim To Do A Little Personal Research On The Critic. Is There Any Truth To The Rumor That He Had No Formal Education Beyond The Age Of Eleven? In Any Event, Is He Able To Construct A Simple English Sentence? Do His Participles Dangle? When Moved To Lyricism, Does He Write "i Had A Fun Time"? Was He Ever Arrested For Burglary? I Don't Know That You Will Prove Anything This Way, But It Is Perfectly Harmless And Quite Soothing.

Oh, Wouldn't It Be Wonderful If Some Manufacturer Would Make A Toy As Tough, As Staunch, As Hard To Crack Open As The Carton It Comes In!