I Was Born In Waukegan A Long,

Try To Save Something While Your Salary Is Small; It's Impossible To Save After You Begin To Earn More.

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.

My Wife Mary And I Have Been Married For Forty-seven Years And Not Once Have We Had An Argument Serious Enough To Consider Divorce; Murder, Yes, But Divorce, Never.

I Began My Show Business Career Playing Violin In San Francisco At The Corner Of Market And Taylor. I Understand That There Is A Theater There Now.

Give Me Golf Clubs, Fresh Air And A Beautiful Partner, And You Can Keep The Clubs And The Fresh Air.