Everything Good That Happened To Me Happened

I Took My Girl To Dinner, And She Laughed So Hard At One Of My Jokes That She Dropped Her Tray.

I Feel Responsible For Johnny Ray's Success. See Many Years Ago I Asked Him To Be On My Show And He Asked For A Lot Of Money And I Cried. And He Stole That From Me.

I'm Happy To Be Making My First Appearance On Air Professionally. By That I Mean I'm Finally Getting Paid, Which I Know Will Be A Great Relief To My Creditors.

Hors D'oeuvre: A Ham Sandwich Cut Into Forty Pieces.

The Doctors Couldn't Find Anything Wrong With Me Except That I Have A Slight Stomach Pain. Wait Till I Get My Hospital Bill! Then I'll Really Have A Pain The Stomach!