I Was Going To Get My Teeth

I Played Golf... I Did Not Get A Hole In One, But I Did Hit A Guy. That's Way More Satisfying.

I Spilled Some Vodka On The Carpet, And I Vacuumed It Up, And The Vacuum Got Drunk. I Had To Take The Hoover To Detox.

Swiss Cheese Is A Rip-off It's The Only Cheese I Can Bite Into And Miss

It's Weird... People Say They're Not Like Apes. Now How Do You Explain Football Then?

Comedy Clubs Have Brick Walls Behind The Performer. Bricks Make You Funny. When I'm In Front Of A Fireplace, I'm Hilarious.