I Was In A Panto Last Year,

I Don't Think My Wife Likes Me Very Much, When I Had A Heart Attack She Wrote For An Ambulance.

There Were Two Irishmen Eating Sandwiches In A Pub And The Landlord Said: "you Can't Eat Your Own Food In Here." So They Swapped Sandwiches.

A Man Turns To The Guy Next To Him Who's Covered In Bandages From Head To Toe And Asks "what Happened?". "i Fell Through A Glass Window," Explains The Man. The First Man Says: "lucky You Were Wearing All Those Bandages."

I Am Accusing Him Of Stealing My Best Material, He Was A Very Funny Man.

There Was A Man Sitting In The Dining Room Of The Titanic, He Said: "i Know I Asked For Ice, But This Is Ridiculous."