I Was Raised By A Mother Who

I Never Saw Myself Not Being A Stand-up. That Was My Plan.

People See Me Laughing And Telling Jokes, But They Had No Idea After The Show Was Over, I Had No Joy In My Life, In My Heart.

You Can Be Happy, Or You Can Be Right. If You Want To Be Part Of A Couple And Win Every Argument, You're In Trouble.

My Mother Raised Me In The Church. I Was Not Allowed To Stay Home On Sunday; There Was No Option. I Sang In The Choir All The Way Up Until I Went To College.

I Don't Let Nobody Sign For My Money. Me And My Wife Write Our Own Checks. So, If There's Some Money Missing, We Know How It Got Missing.