I Was So Naive As A Kid

Pie Throwing Is Kind Of A Lost Art, And Although It May Be A Rather Rudimentary, Burlesque Humor, There's Something Inherently Funny About Taking A Pie In The Face, Under The Right Conditions.

Democracy Means That Anyone Can Grow Up To Be President, And Anyone Who Doesn't Grow Up Can Be Vice President.

I Wouldn't Have The Slightest Interest In Running For Public Office. I'd Rather Make Jokes About Politicians Than Become One Of Them.

Ronald Reagan Just Signed The New Tax Law. But I Think He Was In Hollywood Too Long. He Signed It, 'best Wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be Alive And All The Impersonators Would Be Dead.