I Wasn't Funny As A Kid. I

When Women Are Depressed, They Eat Or Go Shopping.

Guys Wake Up At Your Place And They Expect Breakfast. They Don't Eat Bagels And M&m's In The Morning. They Want Things Like Toast. I Say, 'i Don't Have These Recipes.'

Men In Power Always Seem To Get Involved In Sex Scandals, But Women Don't Even Have A Word For 'male Bimbo.' Except Maybe 'senator.

I Have Six Locks On My Door All In A Row. When I Go Out, I Lock Every Other One. I Figure No Matter How Long Somebody Stands There Picking The Locks, They Are Always Locking Three.

I Don't Categorize Myself. I Don't Think I'm Perceived As A Female Act By My Audience. My Fans Include Just As Many Men As Women.