I Went To The Airport, I Put

When I Was On Acid, I Would See Things Like Beams Of Light And I Would Hear Sounds That Sounded An Awful Lot Like Car Horns.

I Was In A Convenience Store, Reading A Magazine. The Clerk Told Me, "this Is Not A Library!" "ok! I Will Talk Louder, Then!"

I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home, But Really It's More Like A 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

I Like Refried Beans. That's Why I Wanna Try Fried Beans, Because Maybe They're Just As Good And We're Just Wasting Time. You Don't Have To Fry Them Again After All.

I Played Golf... I Did Not Get A Hole In One, But I Did Hit A Guy. That's Way More Satisfying.