If I Had A Dollar For Every

I Played In A Death-metal Band. People Either Loved Us Or Hated Us. Or They Thought We Were Ok.

I Bought A House, It's A Two Bedroom House, But I Think It's Up To Me To Decide How Many Bedrooms There Are. This Bedroom Has An Oven In It. This Bedroom Has A Lot Of People Sitting Around Watching Tv. This Bedroom Is Over In That Other Guy's House.

I Went To A Restaurant, And I Saw A Guy Wearing A Leather Jacket, Eating A Hamburger, Drinking A Glass Of Milk. I Said, "dude, You Are A Cow. The Metamorphosis Is Complete. Don't Fall Asleep Or I Will Tip You Over!"

I Think Pickles Are Cucumbers That Sold Out. They Sold Their Soul To The Devil, And The Devil Is Dill.

All These Jokes Have Been Pre-approved As Funny By Me.