I Wish I Had The Nerve Not

Comedy Is Exaggerated Realism. It Can Be Stretched To The Almost Ludicrous, But It Must Always Be Believable.

Someday I'm Going To Go Onstage In A Dress If I Want To.

My Dad Was A Ham, Too. He Could Sell Those Women Anything. Of All His Sons, I Was The Only One He Could Trust To Sell As Well As He Could. I Was Proud Of That.

When I Said I Didn't Have A Cent, I Didn't. I Used To Get Annoyed With People Who Said They Were Broke When They Had Five Dollars.

Sandwiches Are Wonderful. You Don't Need A Spoon Or A Plate!