I Worked In A Pet Store And

I Recently Had Double-bypass Surgery. As They Wheel You In, The Doctor Always Gives You A Last Look. You Know That Look. That Look Of Confidence To Make You Feel Good. I Always Say To Every Doctor, If I Don't Make It, I'll Never Know It.

A Sense Of Humor Is Rare. It Isn't Telling A Joke About How There Are Three Ways To Get To Heaven. It's Being In A Restaurant And Hearing Someone Say, Everyone's Got Their Tale Of Woe, And Then Turning Around And Saying, Unfortunately, In Life, There's More Woe Than Tail.

Some Dog I Got Too. We Call Him Egypt. Because In Every Room He Leaves A Pyramid.

I'm Sitting On Top Of The World, And I've Got Hemorrhoids.

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.