I Worked In A Pet Store And

My Wife Has Teeth Like The Stars... They Come Out At Night.

When I Was Kidnapped As A Child My Parents Sent A Letter To The Hijackers Me Pay 5,000 Dollars Or Your Back

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

I've Been Writing Jokes Since I'm Fifteen. Not Out Of Happiness, But To Go To A Different Place, Because Reality Wasn't Good To Me.

One Day As I Came Home Early, I Saw A Man Jogging Naked. I Said To The Guy, 'hey, Buddy, Why Are You Doing That?' He Said, 'because You Came Home Early.'