I Would Be Shocked By The Lack

I Love You." He Frowns. "say It Again." "tobias," I Say. "i Love You.

Four Grabs A Bar With Each Hand And Pulls Himself Up, Easy, Like He's Sitting Up In Bed. But He Is Not Comfortable Or Natural Here--- Every Muscle In His Arm Stands Out. It Is A Stupid Thing For Me To Think When I Am One Hundred Feet Off The Ground.

I Keep Finding Myself Stifled By The Company Of Others And Then Crippled By Loneliness When I Leave Them. I Am Terrified And I Don't Even Know Of What, Because I Have Lost Everything Already.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

I Look Out The Window Again, Taking Slow, Deep Breaths Into A Body Too Tense To Move. And As I Stare Out At The Land, I Think That This, If Nothing Else, Is Compelling Evidence For My Parents’ God, That Our World Is So Massive That It Is Completely Out Of Our Control, That We Cannot Possibly Be As Large As We Feel. -tris Prior