I Write Plays About Things That I

If I Am Doing Nothing, I Like To Be Doing Nothing To Some Purpose. That Is What Leisure Means.

Life Is Like A Box Of Sardines And We Are All Looking For The Key.

Sometimes There Is No Next Time, No Time-outs, No Second Chances. Sometimes It’s Now Or Never.

At The Drabber Moments Of My Life (swilling Some Excrement From The Steps, For Instance, Or Rooting With A Bent Coat-hanger Down A Blocked Sink) Thoughts Occur Like 'i Bet Tom Stoppard Doesn't Have To Do This' Or There Is No Doubt David Hare Would Have Deputed This To An Underling.'

I Tried To Explain To Her The Significance Of The Great Poet, But Without Much Success, The Waste Land Not Figuring Very Largely In Mam's Scheme Of Things. "the Thing Is," I Said Finally, "he Won The Nobel Prize." "well," She Said, With That Unerring Grasp Of Inessentials Which Is The Prerogative Of Mothers, "i'm Not Surprised. It Was A Beautiful Overcoat."