If A Kid Calls His Grandma "mommy"

Oprah Is Rich, Bill Gates Is Wealthy. If Bill Gates Woke Up Tomorrow With Oprah's Money, He'd Jump Out A Fuckin' Window And Slit His Throat On The Way Down Saying, "i Can't Even Put Gas In My Plane!"

I Just Remember That Whenever I Got Really Mad Or Passionate, Like In An Argument, People Would Laugh, And I'd Be Dead Serious. It Would Happen A Lot. So It Was Like, Gee, I've Got Something Here.

Standup Comedians Are Attracted To One Another Because Of Their Faults. So We're All Kind Of Messed Up In The Same Way, And Once I Was Around A Group Of People That Saw The World In A Different Way, It's Like This Is Where I Need To Be.

Eddie Murphy Is To Comedians What Nicki Minaj Is To Spanx.

I Hate Niggas! I Hate Em! I Wish They'd Let Me Join The Ku Klux Klan!