If Jay Spent As Much Time Studying

The Economy Is So Bad That Bedbugs Are Now Infesting Sleeping Bags And Tents, Because They Can't Afford To Stay In Hotels Anymore.

Some Democrats Say The Estimated $60 Billion Dollar Cost Of A War With Iraq Could Be Better Spent At Home. When He Heard That, President Bush Agreed And Announced Plans To Bomb Ohio.

The Leaders Of The Taliban Said Today That Killing Bin Laden Won't Solve The Problem. But, You Know, It Couldn't Hurt.

Scientists Are Complaining That The New Dinosaur Movie Shows Dinosaurs With Lemurs, Who Didn't Evolve For Another Million Years. They're Afraid The Movie Will Give Kids A Mistaken Impression. What About The Fact That The Dinosaurs Are Singing And Dancing?

Folks, Tomorrow America Will Get To Hear Those Four Words We've Been Waiting For: "former President George Bush".