If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be

Today's Sensitive Male Has Learned To Share In Open Frank Discussions About Relationships Like, "where The Hell Did You Get A Crazy Idea Like That? You Been Reading Redbook Again?"

"have You Done Your Homework?" My Mother Would Ask. "i'll Do It Later." "you Will Do It Now, Young Man. I Don't Want You Winding Up On The Third Shift At Flagg-utica." Flagg-utica Was A Local Textile Plant. Somehow, I Never Could Figure How Failing To Read Three Chapters In My Geography Book About The Various Sorts Of Vegetation To Be Found In A Tropical Rain Forest Had Anything To Do With Facing A Life As A Mill Hand. But With Enough Guilt And Fear As Catalysts, You Can Read Anything, Even Geography Books And Deuteronomy.

You Call To A Dog And A Dog Will Break Its Neck To Get To You. Dogs Just Want To Please. Call To A Cat And Its Attitude Is, 'what's In It For Me?'

On A New York Subway You Get Fined For Spitting, But You Can Throw Up For Nothing.

If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About A Quart Low.