If My Kid Couldn't Draw I'd Make

If I Had A Dollar For Every Time I Said That, I'd Be Making Money In A Very Weird Way.

I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are Better When They Fall.

A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For A Human.

People Associate Long Hair With Drug Use. I Wish People Associated Long Hair With Something Other Than Drug Use, Like An Extreme Longing For Cake. And Then Strangers Would See A Long Haired Guy And Say, "that Guy Eats Cake!" "he Is On Bundt Cake!" Mothers Saying To Their Daughters, "don't Bring The Cake Eater Over Here Anymore. He Smells Like Flour. Did You See How Excited He Got When He Found Out Your Birthday Was Fast Approaching?"

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.