If Pigs Had Wings, They Would Be

Just Like My Uncle Charlie Used To Say, Just Before He Sprung The Trap: He Said, "you Can't Cheat And Honest Man! Never Give A Sucker An Even Break Or Smarten Up A Chump!

Marriage Is Better Than Leprosy Only Because It's Easier To Get Rid Of.

I Don't Know Why I Ever Come In Here. The Flies Get The Best Of Everything.

The First Thing Any Comedian Does On Getting An Unscheduled Laugh Is To Verify The State Of His .

Indeed, Moderation Is My Middle Name (though I Do Not Often Use It In Signing Legal Documents)