Indeed, Moderation Is My Middle Name (though

In The Ten Years Since I Had Run Away From Home...i Had Gone Through More Strange Experiences Than The Average Person Crowds Into A Whole Lifetime.

You Can Fool Some Of The People Some Of The Time -- And That's Enough To Make A Decent Living.

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I Do.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.