If Someone Took The 'f' Letter Off

I Think We Can All Agree That Sleeping Around Is A Great Way To Meet People.

I've Always Been Exactly Who I Am On Tv. I'm Not Playing A Role.

Every Time John Travolta Assaults A Masseur, A Scientologist Gets Their Wings.

Seeing Your Mother Naked Is Not Something You Easily Recover From. Seeing Your Mother Naked And Jumping From One Side Of A King-sized Bed To The Other With A Nurse's Hat On While Your Father, Who Is Also Naked, Is Chasing Her With A Bandanna Around His Neck, Is Reason To Put Yourself Up For Adoption.

My Whole Life Is Reading Tabloid Magazines. It’s Really Sad, Because That’s What My Show Is All About — What Is Going On With Celebrities. So I Have To Know Everything.