If We Could Just Stop The Tourism,

I Don't Care What Kind It Is, Just Get Me A Beer.

During The Blitz, A Lot Of Shops Had Their Windows Blown In And Put Up Notices Saying, 'more Open Than Usual'. I Now Declare This Place More Open Than Usual.

Cats Kill Far More Birds Than Men. Why Don't You Have A Slogan: 'kill A Cat And Save A Bird?'

Aren't Most Of You Descended From Pirates?

Only A Scotsman Can Really Survive A Scottish Education.