If You've Never Seen An Elephant Ski,

If You're Trying To Get A Bit Of Attention, You Can Smash Up Your Hotel Room Or Spend All Your Time Going To Openings Or Doing The Gossip Column Thing. I Just Decided To Do Gigs In French, German, Spanish, And In America.

This Is Your Captain Speaking. Welcome Aboard Flight...one, From...here To There. We'll Be Cruising At A Height Of Ten Feet, Going Up To Twelve And A Half Feet If We See Anything Big. And Our Copilot Today Is A Flask Of Coffee.

They Tend To Come Out A Colour Called 'pants Left In Wash'

The Pope Is Guarded By The Swiss Guard Who Stand Proudly In Pajamas And Silly Hats.

You're Gay, You Sell Books... You Probably Shag The Books.