It Couldn't Pull A Greased Stick Out

No, No, No. There's No Such Thing As Cheap And Cheerful. It's Cheap And Nasty & Expensive And Cheerful.

You Take Out An Injunction Against Somebody Or Some Organisation And Immediately News Of That Injunction And The People Involved And The Story Behind The Injunction Is In A Legal-free World On Twitter And The Internet. It's Pointless.

My Epiglottis Is Full Of Bees!

Boredom Forces You To Ring People You Haven’t Seen For Eighteen Years And Halfway Through The Conversation You Remember Why You Left It So Long. Boredom Means You Start To Read Not Only Mail-order Catalogues But Also The Advertising Inserts That Fall On The Floor. Boredom Gives You Half A Mind To Get A Gun And Go Berserk In The Local Shopping Centre, And You Know Where This Is Going. Eventually, Boredom Means You Will Take Up Golf.

Racing Cars Which Have Been Converted For Road Use Never Really Work. It's Like Making A Hard Core Adult Film, And Then Editing It So That It Can Be Shown In British Hotels. You'd Just End Up With A Sort Of Half Hour Close Up Of Some Bloke's Sweaty Face.