It Figures You've Got To Hate Yourself

See, I Will Always Have This Penchant For What I Call Kamikaze Women. I Call Them Kamikazes Because They, You Know They Crash Their Plane, They're Self-destructive. But They Crash Into You, And You Die Along With Them.

My Parents Stayed Together For Forty Years. But That Was Out Of Spite.

Man Consists Of Two Parts, His Mind And His Body, Only The Body Has More Fun.

I Don't Want To Achieve Immortality Through My Work; I Want To Achieve Immortality Through Not Dying. I Don't Want To Live On In The Hearts Of My Countrymen; I Want To Live On In My Apartment.

If You Want To Make God Laugh, Tell Him About Your Plans.